I am so friggin' out of shape. After stepping on the scale this weekend I resolved to get my butt in gear, as it has gotten rather large.
I tried running again yesterday. It was a fantastic day. Made it a whopping 20 minutes. Yes, yes, I was pushing Claire in the jogger, but still. 20 minutes. Yeesh. Didn't I run a marathon once? I can't believe how quickly I fell out of practice. And how quickly I gained the weight and lost the muscle. Urgh.
Today I rode my bike into work, despite the 50% chance of rain this afternoon. I ran to get a bike rack yesterday so I could strap a change of clothing, my coffee and water on and cruise. I had my lunch packed but I had difficulty fitting it on the rack using the mesh netting. Oh well. I forced myself to get a salad for lunch and am not walking past the rice krispie bars sitting on the common table.
This getting old thing is a bitch.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
One more worry
I was at lunch with a friend today discussing how to parent in a world where every day an article comes out talking about hazards that have long term impacts on your children. Here's the good news I read today.
BPA's. The debate rages on whether this chemical (which I'm sure my company has helped manufacture) can cause development issues. On top of all of this I am trying to convince Ms. C's dad that we should buy organic whole milk when she moves off formula since it shouldn't be laden with damn growth hormones fed to the cow. Needless to say, I went on a hunt last month to buy Ms. C BPA free sippy cups and pacifiers. I didn't make the switch on her bottles but am having second thoughts.
Then I find out that I put her at risk b/c of having HELLPS while reading this article. Great.
BPA's. The debate rages on whether this chemical (which I'm sure my company has helped manufacture) can cause development issues. On top of all of this I am trying to convince Ms. C's dad that we should buy organic whole milk when she moves off formula since it shouldn't be laden with damn growth hormones fed to the cow. Needless to say, I went on a hunt last month to buy Ms. C BPA free sippy cups and pacifiers. I didn't make the switch on her bottles but am having second thoughts.
Then I find out that I put her at risk b/c of having HELLPS while reading this article. Great.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Enough already.
I think I'm gonna call him and offer to provide him some free career counseling. We need to find a new position for this man. Make a decision and stick with it. Yeesh. (Sorry Meigan)
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Girlfriends for Claire
I am so jazzed. In the last two weeks I have learned that Claire's growing circle of friends and family will include two new girls, arriving in August, thanks to my friend Jen and my sister, Karey.
I'm especially excited about the new cousin as only lives 15-20 minutes away!! Since Claire won't have any siblings close to her age I hope she will be able to spend time with her cousin and develop a close bond. We shall see...
I'm especially excited about the new cousin as only lives 15-20 minutes away!! Since Claire won't have any siblings close to her age I hope she will be able to spend time with her cousin and develop a close bond. We shall see...
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Went Stripping Last Night
Get your minds out of the gutter, you crazy kids. I'm a mom now.
We headed to the Strip Club for a Birthday Club dinner last night. Delish, delish, delish. If you are a meat eater and interested in checking out a new surf and turf joint on the east side, I highly recommend you go. We were served by the co-owner Tim, who was just a delight. It's a treat when your server can tell you intimate details about the menu. He was also very kind when my steak came just a bit on the pink side for my liking. He accommodated me and brought me a new plate (new steak?) that suited my taste buds (read eyeballs). Dessert was a new experience for our table. A standard chocolate crowd, we deviated from our norm and found ourselves thoroughly enjoying some more springy flavors of lemon and blueberry. And he comped our birthday girl for her dessert.
Delightful. Our tab was one of the highest we have seen, even with only five attending, but well worth the money. I made a point to save enough for lunch today, which is my standard MO (stretch that dollar as far as I can).
I ordered a NY Strip with pistachio butter sauce. It was served with a healthy side of cooked carrots in butter. This is the first time, I believe, I have eaten grass-fed beef. And locally sourced, at that. Slathered in pistachio butter sauce it was hard to taste the difference. (Plus, I don't usually eat a cut of beef this caliber.) Fellow table mates who ordered their strip naked enjoyed the morsel so I can assume grass-fed is a hit.
Yum, yum.
We headed to the Strip Club for a Birthday Club dinner last night. Delish, delish, delish. If you are a meat eater and interested in checking out a new surf and turf joint on the east side, I highly recommend you go. We were served by the co-owner Tim, who was just a delight. It's a treat when your server can tell you intimate details about the menu. He was also very kind when my steak came just a bit on the pink side for my liking. He accommodated me and brought me a new plate (new steak?) that suited my taste buds (read eyeballs). Dessert was a new experience for our table. A standard chocolate crowd, we deviated from our norm and found ourselves thoroughly enjoying some more springy flavors of lemon and blueberry. And he comped our birthday girl for her dessert.
Delightful. Our tab was one of the highest we have seen, even with only five attending, but well worth the money. I made a point to save enough for lunch today, which is my standard MO (stretch that dollar as far as I can).
I ordered a NY Strip with pistachio butter sauce. It was served with a healthy side of cooked carrots in butter. This is the first time, I believe, I have eaten grass-fed beef. And locally sourced, at that. Slathered in pistachio butter sauce it was hard to taste the difference. (Plus, I don't usually eat a cut of beef this caliber.) Fellow table mates who ordered their strip naked enjoyed the morsel so I can assume grass-fed is a hit.
Yum, yum.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Where have I been?
Away from the blogging world the last couple of weeks. It seems as though all of my goals for the year are due now, now, now. Or at least everyone wants them now, now, now. Urgh. I can only do so much.
Ms. C has also decided that sleeping through the night isn't so much her thing. I was spoiled for the last several months. Her dad and I are hoping it is a teething issue and not a new pattern. Last night she awoke at midnight, angry that she couldn't (read wouldn't) flip over from her belly to her back*. Earlier in the evening her dad had commented that we should really begin the process of having her put herself to sleep. She will put herself to sleep but only if she can suckle on her burp cloth, which isn't really a safe option since she could either a) choke herself by sucking it too far down her throat or b) strangle herself by having it twist around her neck.
Yes, I admit it, we've been 'those' parents. The one's that rock their babe to sleep at night. Mostly because I end up putting her down and I love to see her face resting on my shoulder. However, she is getting heavy (we estimate somewhere in the 20 lbs range) and a dead weight baby is hard to hold onto for any length of time.
Anyway, I got up with her and flipped her to her back but that didn't stop the fussing. I picked her up but tried to stay true to our new commitment of having her put herself to sleep and ended up putting her back to bed while she was awake (after 30 minutes of calming her down, getting her back into a sleepy state of mind, trying to sing her to sleep while standing next to her crib with my hand on her belly, rolling her onto her side, etc.). Didn't work. Loud crying ensued but I bore down and told her dad that we would have to wait out the storm. Yeah right. You know what he did??? Got up, picked her up and brought her into bed. I was like WTF? Well, even that didn't take so I got back up, took her from her dad and fed the tot. She finally fell back to sleep. (We're not trying to starve her, really. I waited that long only b/c she doesn't usually eat much and prefers to sooth herself by suckling on her burp cloth).
Any parents out there have suggestions on how to put their little one to rest at night without a lot of pain and anguish?
On a completely unrelated note. I am SICK of snow and cold. Yes, it is nearly 40' right now and the sun is shining so what the h-e-double hockey sticks am I complaining about? I want to go for a walk outside with Ms. C. Ahh....spring in MN.
*Please note, she flipped herself onto her belly. We are good parents and follow the rule of back is best.
Ms. C has also decided that sleeping through the night isn't so much her thing. I was spoiled for the last several months. Her dad and I are hoping it is a teething issue and not a new pattern. Last night she awoke at midnight, angry that she couldn't (read wouldn't) flip over from her belly to her back*. Earlier in the evening her dad had commented that we should really begin the process of having her put herself to sleep. She will put herself to sleep but only if she can suckle on her burp cloth, which isn't really a safe option since she could either a) choke herself by sucking it too far down her throat or b) strangle herself by having it twist around her neck.
Yes, I admit it, we've been 'those' parents. The one's that rock their babe to sleep at night. Mostly because I end up putting her down and I love to see her face resting on my shoulder. However, she is getting heavy (we estimate somewhere in the 20 lbs range) and a dead weight baby is hard to hold onto for any length of time.
Anyway, I got up with her and flipped her to her back but that didn't stop the fussing. I picked her up but tried to stay true to our new commitment of having her put herself to sleep and ended up putting her back to bed while she was awake (after 30 minutes of calming her down, getting her back into a sleepy state of mind, trying to sing her to sleep while standing next to her crib with my hand on her belly, rolling her onto her side, etc.). Didn't work. Loud crying ensued but I bore down and told her dad that we would have to wait out the storm. Yeah right. You know what he did??? Got up, picked her up and brought her into bed. I was like WTF? Well, even that didn't take so I got back up, took her from her dad and fed the tot. She finally fell back to sleep. (We're not trying to starve her, really. I waited that long only b/c she doesn't usually eat much and prefers to sooth herself by suckling on her burp cloth).
Any parents out there have suggestions on how to put their little one to rest at night without a lot of pain and anguish?
On a completely unrelated note. I am SICK of snow and cold. Yes, it is nearly 40' right now and the sun is shining so what the h-e-double hockey sticks am I complaining about? I want to go for a walk outside with Ms. C. Ahh....spring in MN.
*Please note, she flipped herself onto her belly. We are good parents and follow the rule of back is best.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Daycare update
We ran the numbers after visiting three daycare facilities last week and realized we are better off keeping her at home for the time being. Since we would only be putting her in on a part time basis we would be upcharged. If we wait another 8 months (when she is a toddler) the rates drop so we're hanging on by our fingernails with the current schedule. It would be so nice to know if Pete's current crazy-busy project load will continue. If that would be the case we could bite the bullet and put her in but it's so up in the air. One month it is madness and the next it is slllloooowww.
Maybe during the summer one of the older neighbor kids will be looking for some additional income and would take on the role as 'summer nanny'. Any creative ideas from the peanut gallery?
Maybe during the summer one of the older neighbor kids will be looking for some additional income and would take on the role as 'summer nanny'. Any creative ideas from the peanut gallery?
Sleep. What sleep....
An update on Ms. Claire here. Needless to say I am tired and I swear I have ADD at work. I can't focus on anything for more than a few minutes.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sick of it
I am sick of being sick. This is round three this year. I am so tired of being sick. Home ill today (thank goodness mom is up today to take care of Claire) and I am so tired of blowing my nose and coughing. Urgh.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Letting her go already?
Daycare.
Who would have thought this word could be so scary. We're going to have to put Ms. C in daycare. Pete's workload is too crazy and my sister is going to need to scale back on taking her sometime in the next coming months. We have to bite the bullet and put her in on a part-time basis.
And I'm scared. I can't get over hearing about the bad situations that happen at daycare. I try to tell myself that there are hundreds of other kids who are just fine in daycare. Several of them are my friend's children! But all I think of is leaving her with a stranger. It makes my blood run cold. What will these people do when she has a meltdown? How long will she sit in her poop before they finally decide they can get to her and change her? Will they walk around with her like we do during the day holding her hands so she can 'stretch' her legs? How will they handle the fact that she likes to snuggle before falling asleep?
I just don't think I can do it. But I have to. I have to find a way to let her go and put my trust in some person who doesn't know my daughter.
Who would have thought this word could be so scary. We're going to have to put Ms. C in daycare. Pete's workload is too crazy and my sister is going to need to scale back on taking her sometime in the next coming months. We have to bite the bullet and put her in on a part-time basis.
And I'm scared. I can't get over hearing about the bad situations that happen at daycare. I try to tell myself that there are hundreds of other kids who are just fine in daycare. Several of them are my friend's children! But all I think of is leaving her with a stranger. It makes my blood run cold. What will these people do when she has a meltdown? How long will she sit in her poop before they finally decide they can get to her and change her? Will they walk around with her like we do during the day holding her hands so she can 'stretch' her legs? How will they handle the fact that she likes to snuggle before falling asleep?
I just don't think I can do it. But I have to. I have to find a way to let her go and put my trust in some person who doesn't know my daughter.
Oh so tired
Ms. C decided to awaken at 2:43am. I have gotten so used to her sleeping through the night... Plus the day before Pete had an early flight to SD for a biz trip and left the house way early so I was up. The trouble with being an insomniac is that once you are awake it is very, very, very, very, very difficult to get back to sleep. Needless to say I am dragging today.
I need to stay awake and do some work so that I am not carrying that stress around and keeping myself awake at night with worries about 'getting it all done'. I swear. This job is so odd. Peaks and valleys in terms of the level of work. Early in the week all of my 'sessions' were out for review. They are still out for review but somehow by yesterday afternoon I had at least 5 more URGENT 'sessions' come out of some needs assessments. Damn needs assessments. All they do is create more work! Just kidding. They are the lifeblood of me keeping my job and my compass.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by how much training really needs to be done. I tend to overextend myself and want to do it all now, now, now. But I can't do that, especially with a little one at home and my desire to jet out of here as soon as I can so I can get home and see her.
Ahh....this is what they mean by work/life balance issues.
I need to stay awake and do some work so that I am not carrying that stress around and keeping myself awake at night with worries about 'getting it all done'. I swear. This job is so odd. Peaks and valleys in terms of the level of work. Early in the week all of my 'sessions' were out for review. They are still out for review but somehow by yesterday afternoon I had at least 5 more URGENT 'sessions' come out of some needs assessments. Damn needs assessments. All they do is create more work! Just kidding. They are the lifeblood of me keeping my job and my compass.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by how much training really needs to be done. I tend to overextend myself and want to do it all now, now, now. But I can't do that, especially with a little one at home and my desire to jet out of here as soon as I can so I can get home and see her.
Ahh....this is what they mean by work/life balance issues.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
We are walking, we are walking...
Oh those crazy Austin kids. Check out Carrie's site for some much needed mid-week entertainment.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Reality Check
My step came home from school this week with some pretty tough news. One of her good friend's has been in and out of school as of late. Recent tests came back and confirmed that she has lung cancer. She is 14 years old.
The first thoughts that ran through my head were, "not fair", "shouldn't happen to this kid", "will her mother FINALLY quit smoking now?*".
This poor girl can't go live with her father and she and her mother live in a small duplex. Mom smokes inside all the time and her daughter is exposed to a heavy dose of second hand smoke. According to my step the mother has said she won't quit smoking. We're not sure if that really was the response or if it was more along the lines of "it will be tough to quit smoking". We weren't there so we don't know. Nevertheless, I can't imagine what these two are going through.
14.
Pete and I immediately start to think about how we can help this young lady. We're not in a position to take her in, nor would be want to face that battle with her mother, but we are trying to understand what is happening on the medical front. So we ask, what is her coverage situation? Is there a possible need for a benefit in the future? How far has the cancer progressed? How is she doing emotionally? FYI -getting your information from another 14 year old is not the best route. She hasn't a clue, which is not a bad thing. She shouldn't have to be dealing with this either.
14. I can't imagine it. All I want to do is go hug her and tell her we're here. And to suck that damn cancer out of her.
*Full disclosure - I am an ex-smoker who quit for the second/third time a mere 2 years ago.
The first thoughts that ran through my head were, "not fair", "shouldn't happen to this kid", "will her mother FINALLY quit smoking now?*".
This poor girl can't go live with her father and she and her mother live in a small duplex. Mom smokes inside all the time and her daughter is exposed to a heavy dose of second hand smoke. According to my step the mother has said she won't quit smoking. We're not sure if that really was the response or if it was more along the lines of "it will be tough to quit smoking". We weren't there so we don't know. Nevertheless, I can't imagine what these two are going through.
14.
Pete and I immediately start to think about how we can help this young lady. We're not in a position to take her in, nor would be want to face that battle with her mother, but we are trying to understand what is happening on the medical front. So we ask, what is her coverage situation? Is there a possible need for a benefit in the future? How far has the cancer progressed? How is she doing emotionally? FYI -getting your information from another 14 year old is not the best route. She hasn't a clue, which is not a bad thing. She shouldn't have to be dealing with this either.
14. I can't imagine it. All I want to do is go hug her and tell her we're here. And to suck that damn cancer out of her.
*Full disclosure - I am an ex-smoker who quit for the second/third time a mere 2 years ago.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Crisis averted
Update on my work crisis. It was averted. The kind folks who gave me a heads up that I would be screwed came through for me (I take back my previous rant about them, kinda) and provided me with a version of the software that has been approved by IT. Thank the heavens! They even gave it to me for FREE! Score! And I get to keep my 2008 version and have offered to do beta testing for them when they start to look at having IT review this version.
Whew.
And I went to the doctor on Thursday and she started me on some meds.
Double whew.
On the home front my hubby was off snowmobiling in northern WI this weekend so Claire and I had a girls weekend full of visits and visitors.
I think she might be cutting her first tooth. She is acting a bit off yesterday afternoon, pulling her ears more than usual and chewing on my hands. She has always been a chewer and drooler so those typical tell-tale signs do not give me any indication if she is actually cutting a tooth. She was running a very low-grade fever last night and yesterday she was just impatient. Nothing kept her happy for very long and she would go from one extreme to the next. It was like a roller coaster.
We just learned that her big sis (who was with us the last 2 weeks) was sick all weekend and is going in for a strep test this afternoon. My hubby called and said he is going to keep a close eye on Claire. We're hoping it wasn't transferred and that Claire really is cutting a tooth and not dealing with something worse. Claire might argue that getting teeth is just as worse but you get my drift.
I'm looking forward to the day when Claire can tell me 'where it hurts' instead of me guessing what is happening to my little bear.
Whew.
And I went to the doctor on Thursday and she started me on some meds.
Double whew.
On the home front my hubby was off snowmobiling in northern WI this weekend so Claire and I had a girls weekend full of visits and visitors.
I think she might be cutting her first tooth. She is acting a bit off yesterday afternoon, pulling her ears more than usual and chewing on my hands. She has always been a chewer and drooler so those typical tell-tale signs do not give me any indication if she is actually cutting a tooth. She was running a very low-grade fever last night and yesterday she was just impatient. Nothing kept her happy for very long and she would go from one extreme to the next. It was like a roller coaster.
We just learned that her big sis (who was with us the last 2 weeks) was sick all weekend and is going in for a strep test this afternoon. My hubby called and said he is going to keep a close eye on Claire. We're hoping it wasn't transferred and that Claire really is cutting a tooth and not dealing with something worse. Claire might argue that getting teeth is just as worse but you get my drift.
I'm looking forward to the day when Claire can tell me 'where it hurts' instead of me guessing what is happening to my little bear.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Irony
Ironically the song that came on right after I posted is Failure by Ian Ball. The key line in the song is 'Don't let a little failure get you down'. I'm trying to make this my mantra this afternoon.
Sorry for the tough love
I am seriously ready to throw my hands in the air and scream 'I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!'.
I have been stressing the last several days because I have been dealing with a fairly sharp learning curve with a new elearning program at work. I was so stressed that I wasn't sleeping (damn stress-induced insomnia) and I have a f'ing sinus infection to boot.
This morning I had a breakthrough after working with another person at my company who uses this software. (Even though this software provides a great deal more interactivity and functionality than the powerpoint on crack version currently pushed as the 'corporate solution' the organization can't support it because they have had to cut resources and they feel that the powerpoint on crack version is just fine.) I was jazzed to get working on storyboards and ready to get moving on programming until I just opened my email.
Apparently the company who sold me the software sent me the latest and greatest version and they can't be certain ti will work with our newly upgraded LMS. This is a snippet from the email I just rec'd from the internal contact:
I have been stressing the last several days because I have been dealing with a fairly sharp learning curve with a new elearning program at work. I was so stressed that I wasn't sleeping (damn stress-induced insomnia) and I have a f'ing sinus infection to boot.
This morning I had a breakthrough after working with another person at my company who uses this software. (Even though this software provides a great deal more interactivity and functionality than the powerpoint on crack version currently pushed as the 'corporate solution' the organization can't support it because they have had to cut resources and they feel that the powerpoint on crack version is just fine.) I was jazzed to get working on storyboards and ready to get moving on programming until I just opened my email.
Apparently the company who sold me the software sent me the latest and greatest version and they can't be certain ti will work with our newly upgraded LMS. This is a snippet from the email I just rec'd from the internal contact:
Officially, it's unsupported by us so (if ) you have problem, you're on your
own.
Also, 2008 is not approved by IT to work at (insert company
name).
Sorry for the tough love but it has to be that way . . .
OK. I get that it isn't their problem that the software company sent me the wrong version but I am just pissed. There is some history with this 'support' group that gets my hackles up, namely that we are a Fortune 100 company who should be on the leading curve of learning solutions not back in the dark ages. Instead of being forward thinking and determining that they need to justify the business need for supporting this software in the organization they tell us that it isn't supported (not just the 2008 version but any version). Screw you. I don't expect to hand hold me and help me through the problem but the email felt more like a slap in the face than I needed today.
My response back was not nice. It wasn't directed at them but more at the fact that if they have another contact other than the person who approved this version in the first place to please let me know the name so I can contact him/her and get his resolved. My job is seriously on the line. You may think I am exaggerating but my team has once again been moved into yet another part of the company and I have a project due for my boss' boss in a couple weeks.
I cannot deal with this and feel like I am going to explode. I know I am being overly sensitive but when I feel like my job is already on the line and then I get an email like this I just feel like I could cry. This is when I wish I wasn't the primary breadwinner in the family and could roll with whatever is going to come my way without worrying that I might be out of a job.
Monday, January 28, 2008
You should be....
Found this on Sarah's site. While it worked for her I am apparnently in the wrong field. I went in and took the quiz a again chosing my 'second choice' and this time it came back with You Should Be a Teacher. A bit more appropriate to my current job.
| You Should Be a Doctor |
 You are practical, sharp, and very intuitive. Optimistic and energetic, you are a problem solver who doesn't get discouraged easily. You are also quite compassionate and caring. You make people feel hopeful. You're highly adaptable and capable. You do well with almost any curve ball life throws at you. You do best when you: - Are always learning new subjects - Use your knowledge to solve problems You would also be a good therapist or detective. |
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Crafty projects
Until daylight savings kicks in I have a couple of hours between when Ms. Claire goes down and my bed time. Instead of sitting like a lump in front of the TV I decided to start another craft project.
And of course, instead of taking things slow I want to jump in head first and create a semi-complicated (read complicated for me) bear for someone who will be having a baby later this year. I also want to crochet a new scarf for next year and perhaps a baby blanket for someone else who is having a baby later this year.
I went to Joanne Fabrics yesterday over lunch to check out yarn for the bear project. I left without buying anything. I was very frustrated. I could not for the life of me find the weights they have listed for the pattern in the book I am using. Urgh. I must be an idiot but all I could find was #4. Being a novice (and being on my lunch hour) I didn't waste time asking one of the ladies working where I could find what I wanted. I think I will try again when I have a bit more time and patience.
So, last night I decided for the heckuvit I would just try to make the bear using their instructions but using the yarn I already have and maybe it will work out OK. I think it will. It just won't look exactly like the bear in the book. Since the baby who will get this gift won't know the difference will it really matter? I can tackle the 'advanced' version when I can find the right damn yarn.
I asked Pete if I could start hosting some Stitch-N-Bitch sessions at the house. I love the idea of people getting together to chit-chat and work on projects at the same time. This might actually help me finish a project on time too! But, other than my sister and perhaps Michelle I don't know anyone on the east side who would be interested. Anyone know any knitters and/or crocheters who would want to participate?
And of course, instead of taking things slow I want to jump in head first and create a semi-complicated (read complicated for me) bear for someone who will be having a baby later this year. I also want to crochet a new scarf for next year and perhaps a baby blanket for someone else who is having a baby later this year.
I went to Joanne Fabrics yesterday over lunch to check out yarn for the bear project. I left without buying anything. I was very frustrated. I could not for the life of me find the weights they have listed for the pattern in the book I am using. Urgh. I must be an idiot but all I could find was #4. Being a novice (and being on my lunch hour) I didn't waste time asking one of the ladies working where I could find what I wanted. I think I will try again when I have a bit more time and patience.
So, last night I decided for the heckuvit I would just try to make the bear using their instructions but using the yarn I already have and maybe it will work out OK. I think it will. It just won't look exactly like the bear in the book. Since the baby who will get this gift won't know the difference will it really matter? I can tackle the 'advanced' version when I can find the right damn yarn.
I asked Pete if I could start hosting some Stitch-N-Bitch sessions at the house. I love the idea of people getting together to chit-chat and work on projects at the same time. This might actually help me finish a project on time too! But, other than my sister and perhaps Michelle I don't know anyone on the east side who would be interested. Anyone know any knitters and/or crocheters who would want to participate?
Friday, January 18, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
The Weekend in Review
Whew. I am in a much better place today. The last few days have been emotional roller coasters. As of Friday of last week all I wanted to do was quit my damn job and run for the hills, sans hubby and child. By this morning at 10am I have returned to a better place and feel like I can take on the world again.
Friday
My day job was really getting me down. We're tasked with a lot of great stuff but lack the leader to really take things anywhere. It's tough to be tasked with creating a communications plan when there are people on the team that can't f'in communicate with anyone. I have to chose my words carefully here in case someone should ever stumble upon this little blog. The idea of creating said communication plan is wonderful. I would LOVE to do this. But when I begin to work towards this goal I immediately become disheartened. Why? Because it will be ripped apart and made into something a certain person on my team wants, no matter what I do. It takes the drive right out of me. This is the same experience I have when creating new training materials. By the time I left work on Friday I had seriously had it. I wanted nothing to do with this company. I cruised home early so we could get in the car and fly out of town.
We drove to my old home town for my dad's retirement party. (I haven't been back to town since my parents moved 5 years ago!) As I am driving I kept asking myself how my dad managed to stay at the same company for 35+ years. How did he keep himself from not telling them to take a hike? My dad and I have similar tempers and I know he has had some 'interesting' conversations with his management in the past. How in the world did he keep his mouth shut? And can I get myself to do the same? Can I find a way to just let go and report to work with the same drive and energy when I feel like I have no recourse? After the two hour drive down I still didn't have any answers. However, I think I found part of the answer at the party. Friends from the days when my dad was a line supervisor were there. Friends who I have known since I was an infant. And the stories! It was great to see these folks again and to hear them share story after story about good times. It dawned on me that my dad had a core group of guys who he started with and they remained close no matter what town we lived in or where they were in the 'chain of command'. With that network you can handle a lot of shit that rolls your way.
On the way home we ran into an ice storm that had cars in ditches left and right and me behind the wheel, white-knuckled and swearing like a sailor with both of the girls in the car. Pete finally had to take over driving when I damn near slid into another car in front of us.
Saturday
I was paid for only 2 hours of work when in reality I worked for 5 hours. There was a miscommunication between my client and I regarding the wedding. It all worked out in the end and I'll chalk this up to another learning experience on my part. I was very glad to be a part of this person's special day so I'm not too upset about it in the grand scheme of things but it did teach me that I need to be clearer about what I will be doing and why you are paying me.
Sunday
Pete went to help my dad move a bunch of stuff for his new stained glass business and was gone from 9a-7p. No biggie. Jordan was home and could help with Claire later in the day when my photo shoot arrived.
Well... Ms. Claire apparently had stomach cramps (who knows - she can't tell me) and was crying from 11:45am - 3pm. And I'm not exaggerating. She was really crying the whole time. I finally had to wake Jordan up at 2-freaking-pm because I needed to eat something. Claire finally went down for a very short nap around 3pm. Pete called to say he would be late. My client called and said she would be late. OK. I can deal with that, Jordan said she would stay to help with Claire.
My client finally showed up about 3 hours after initially planned. Oddly enough, this is when things started to get a little better in my small world. We ended up having a blast with the shoot but I was stressing as Claire needed a bath and we have a bit of routine we go through and it was all out whack. Pete took the lead and gave Claire her bath, got her ready for bed and by the time my client left we were back into the swing of things.
Monday
I returned to work determined to put a new face on things. I will find a way to be a good employee. I need this job too damn much.
I had a meeting with a guy in another department at 9am. He is a trainer in a business unit. By the end of the meeting I found the thing I have been seeking for nearly a year and a half. A group of people who think like me, do the same type of job and want to work to make things better. I am now networked in with other trainers who meet on a regular basis outside of their normal job duties to share ideas and talk about how we can leverage the platforms available to us and each other. We're also thinking about creating a consortium to help with a new platform that launched but has no support. I can't believe how much energy I have gotten from this 1 hour conversation. I can't wait to tap into the brain power of these people and have their support when I need to brainstorm about challenges that I face.
Thank goodness. I don't want to be sad coming to work and stressing about how I am going to make ends meet if I go somewhere else.
My learnings from this crazy weekend?
1. Do NOT overbook yourself. I seriously can't do this anymore
2. Wait. Be patient. It will get better.
3. Be happy this is all I have to worry about.
Friday
My day job was really getting me down. We're tasked with a lot of great stuff but lack the leader to really take things anywhere. It's tough to be tasked with creating a communications plan when there are people on the team that can't f'in communicate with anyone. I have to chose my words carefully here in case someone should ever stumble upon this little blog. The idea of creating said communication plan is wonderful. I would LOVE to do this. But when I begin to work towards this goal I immediately become disheartened. Why? Because it will be ripped apart and made into something a certain person on my team wants, no matter what I do. It takes the drive right out of me. This is the same experience I have when creating new training materials. By the time I left work on Friday I had seriously had it. I wanted nothing to do with this company. I cruised home early so we could get in the car and fly out of town.
We drove to my old home town for my dad's retirement party. (I haven't been back to town since my parents moved 5 years ago!) As I am driving I kept asking myself how my dad managed to stay at the same company for 35+ years. How did he keep himself from not telling them to take a hike? My dad and I have similar tempers and I know he has had some 'interesting' conversations with his management in the past. How in the world did he keep his mouth shut? And can I get myself to do the same? Can I find a way to just let go and report to work with the same drive and energy when I feel like I have no recourse? After the two hour drive down I still didn't have any answers. However, I think I found part of the answer at the party. Friends from the days when my dad was a line supervisor were there. Friends who I have known since I was an infant. And the stories! It was great to see these folks again and to hear them share story after story about good times. It dawned on me that my dad had a core group of guys who he started with and they remained close no matter what town we lived in or where they were in the 'chain of command'. With that network you can handle a lot of shit that rolls your way.
On the way home we ran into an ice storm that had cars in ditches left and right and me behind the wheel, white-knuckled and swearing like a sailor with both of the girls in the car. Pete finally had to take over driving when I damn near slid into another car in front of us.
Saturday
I was paid for only 2 hours of work when in reality I worked for 5 hours. There was a miscommunication between my client and I regarding the wedding. It all worked out in the end and I'll chalk this up to another learning experience on my part. I was very glad to be a part of this person's special day so I'm not too upset about it in the grand scheme of things but it did teach me that I need to be clearer about what I will be doing and why you are paying me.
Sunday
Pete went to help my dad move a bunch of stuff for his new stained glass business and was gone from 9a-7p. No biggie. Jordan was home and could help with Claire later in the day when my photo shoot arrived.
Well... Ms. Claire apparently had stomach cramps (who knows - she can't tell me) and was crying from 11:45am - 3pm. And I'm not exaggerating. She was really crying the whole time. I finally had to wake Jordan up at 2-freaking-pm because I needed to eat something. Claire finally went down for a very short nap around 3pm. Pete called to say he would be late. My client called and said she would be late. OK. I can deal with that, Jordan said she would stay to help with Claire.
My client finally showed up about 3 hours after initially planned. Oddly enough, this is when things started to get a little better in my small world. We ended up having a blast with the shoot but I was stressing as Claire needed a bath and we have a bit of routine we go through and it was all out whack. Pete took the lead and gave Claire her bath, got her ready for bed and by the time my client left we were back into the swing of things.
Monday
I returned to work determined to put a new face on things. I will find a way to be a good employee. I need this job too damn much.
I had a meeting with a guy in another department at 9am. He is a trainer in a business unit. By the end of the meeting I found the thing I have been seeking for nearly a year and a half. A group of people who think like me, do the same type of job and want to work to make things better. I am now networked in with other trainers who meet on a regular basis outside of their normal job duties to share ideas and talk about how we can leverage the platforms available to us and each other. We're also thinking about creating a consortium to help with a new platform that launched but has no support. I can't believe how much energy I have gotten from this 1 hour conversation. I can't wait to tap into the brain power of these people and have their support when I need to brainstorm about challenges that I face.
Thank goodness. I don't want to be sad coming to work and stressing about how I am going to make ends meet if I go somewhere else.
My learnings from this crazy weekend?
1. Do NOT overbook yourself. I seriously can't do this anymore
2. Wait. Be patient. It will get better.
3. Be happy this is all I have to worry about.
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