Where has the summer gone?

Despite not going anywhere, except to my parents, the summer has flown by. I can't believe we will be into August in a mere 8 days. Yikes.

I am desperately trying to find a way to be a fanatic about exercising. I'm not sure what it is lately but I am not happy with the way things are looking on this frame. I no longer like my clothing, I dread putting on a swim suit and I am pissed that I can't enjoy eating because I continually think about how many calories it has... and then eat it anyway and feel guilty. I am always looking at other women who are mom's and thinking, why can't I be skinny and not have the muffin top? What type of jeans is she wearing, why doesn't her ass look like mine? I know, I know... everyone is different. I get it. But damnit, I don't like it.

Blah.