Hey! Retail peeps & manufacturers... people under 5 feet buy stuff too.

This has been rolling around in my head for a couple of days. Ever since I went shopping two weeks ago. It was reinforced on Saturday.

I dread shopping. This has gotten progressively worse as I get bigger and bigger. And not taller people. I'm still under 5 feet. I despise shopping because I am not shaped like a normal woman. This is really my incentive for losing weight. It has nothing to do with feeling better about myself or living a healthy lifestyle. It has to do with taking the pain out of shopping.

Let me list my top 10 reasons I hate shopping.

10. Short legs.

9. Which are not in proportion to my big ass.

8. Or my wide hips.

7. And my muffin top. All that leads to hell when buying pants. Let's not even discuss the jeans. And swimsuits. Sweet Jesus.

6. Girls that seem to change size dependent upon the moon. Seriously.

5. Small shoulders that are not in proportion to the girls.

4. Did I mention the muffin top?

3. No good boutiques nearby for small women that don't make me look like a hoochie-mama.

2. Spending a boat-load of money on clothing.

1. Size 5 shoes.

Apparently, all shoe manufacturers and retailers must think that if you wear a size 5 women's shoe you are a child. So you must prefer to wear shoes covered in Bratz dollz or bright-freaking-pink flowers. When I do find shoes that could pass as an adults, the support in them are crap. I think my physical therapist is going to ban me from stepping into the kids section.


So. My shopping excursion for my friend's wedding in NYC is costing me a pretty penny. My dress is more than I would have liked (but it seems to fit and makes me look normal) and I was able to find a pair of silver shoes after hunting for TWO days. Urgh.

Now I am on a quest to buy some Spanx to help me look even better in said dress (and all others I own). I tried one today that I am wearing to work that is not gonna make the cut. I need a full-body girdle. But where the hell is all that extra crap going to go? This sucks.

I want to go home and crawl into my sweatpants, t-shirt and running shoes.

What does Color tell you??

Got this from my friend Carrie. Very interesting... At least I am doing a couple of things that match this descriptor. My work environment, not so much. I bolded and colored the words that resonated with me.

You're a CREATOR
Keywords
Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional
These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.

CREATOR OCCUPATIONS
Suggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.

CREATOR WORKPLACES
Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature.

Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.

Back to the work stuff

Have you ever worked for a place that should provide you tons of resources but because of the red tape and hierarchy it's nearly impossible to get anything done?

That is where I live. Add to that I am the only person fulfilling my role for what should be two jobs serving 70000+ employees worldwide. Job security right....

OK, so here's the deal. We're launching some pretty cool stuff, finally catching up with the technologies that are out there, such as internal social media channels, blogging inside the firewall and now our own personal youtube inside the company. As a trainer I should be super-duper psyched. But I'm not. Because, I will be asked to create these wonderful things without any support.

Oh, and the use of my own personal video camera.

Which I do not own. (At least not one that doesn't physically involve an actual TAPE, people.)

(How can I not own one when I am the mother of a toddler, you ask? Because I am married to my husband, that's why. He is the antithesis of an early adopter of any sort of technology. He's more like a non-adopter.)

So instead of my company laying out a few hundred bucks for something that will pay for itself in the end, I am researching options for my own personal use. I might as well bite the bullet and buy one for home, which will be used for Little Ms. C's upcoming life events but which can also be used for work.

Suggestions from my small band of loyal readers will be most appreciated. Special hint hint to my friend in the FILM INDUSTRY. Tee hee.

Spring cleaning

I'm not very consistent in my cleaning activities. If you came to our house you would see a nice layer of dust (or whatever damn organisms they really are) living on one of the three dressers in our bedroom. I fully embraced the philosophy that spending time with your child is more important than cleaning long before Little Miss C was even born.

But when the snow begins to melt, I get a fever. Yesterday, I took a half day off work to stay home with Little Miss C and while she was napping (a rarity these days, I might add) I took on the stove's exhaust hood.

Which had not been cleaned since we move in. Seriously. Nearly 5 years people. Yuck.

I had to go to Target (who needs a reason?) and pick up rubber gloves. Yuckity-yuck.

I have been researching using vinegar as a cleaning solution to replace the chemicals in the current products so thought I would test it out on the range.

Hmmm, me thinks that the recipes I saw online failed to take into consideration nearly 5 years of build up. Let's just say that even with a fully soaked (for multiple hours) sponge of white vinegar I had to pull out the SOS pad to even get through the first layer of crap.

(Anyone interested in coming over for dinner?)

I also attempted this recipe for the microwave. Not as much of a success as they tout on the site. However, the fully-loaded-vinegar-sponge did the trick.

I'm going to try to be more diligent on cleaning the range hood and hope to find more success with vinegar. If anyone has any other ideas, please feel free to share. I am thinking I will test out the paste version with baking soda on something this weekend.

And then summer will come and I won't clean again for several months because I will have moved onto the garden.