Upgrade woes, prayers and babes

I've had my head stuck in a spreadsheet the last couple of days at work. I screwed something up and have been working to identify the issue. Urgh. Damn sort function. &%##^*(^*

We recently upgraded to CS3 and while I dig having Bridge to better view my photos (makes the Yes/No process a whole lot faster) I am unable to open Photoshop. Ok. Kinda need that. Thank goodness I had finished editing the photos from the shoots I did earlier this month. We haven't had a chance to contact Adobe yet to see why this is happening so I am sans the ability to post photos. And I have many of Claire to post. Things are opening slowly too. We don't seem to have any issues when we are working in a program, just opening and closing. I'm hoping after Pete talks to Adobe all will be repaired. Urgh.

We learned today that Pete's grandmother is in the hospital. Apparently she was having some trouble breathing this morning and used her call button to alert the appropriate folks. She lives in a senior high rise ~ thank goodness they have this resource in all the apartments. It appears she is also having other issues so they are going to keep her overnight for testing. Please send some prayers her way if you can.

In better news, I learned my friend Julie delivered her twin boys on Thursday. She knew she would be going early as they had her on bedrest the last three weeks. Sounds like everything went well. Appears they might be in the NICU for a spell but they look to be strong, healthy little guys so I'm sure they will be out in no time. I can't wait to meet Miles & Jackson in person!

We're off to my MIL & FIL's tomorrow to head to the tree farm near their house and celebrate my birthday. I am the lone December babe in the family so we lump it in with our annual trip to the tree farm. I'm not quite sure where we will put the tree this year as Claire's activity gym and exersaucer already take up enough space! I'm hoping the weather will hold off until we get back home. While part of me is excited to see the snow and make it feel a bit more like the holiday season I'm not looking forward to driving in snow with a layer of sleet on top. Ahh... welcome to winter in MN. Pete & Jordan are nearly wetting their pants in excitement. Pete asked Jordan if she had a full week of school next week and she said she thought so, unless it snowed. When asked why about the snow she responded, "well... I'd be snowmobiling." Right. I don't think she was entirely kidding. I think she hopes her dad would be so jazzed to get out on the trails he would exempt her from school. I don't think so sweetie.

New stadium but no team

We're not going to have much of a team left. You can't build it around the Baby Jesus (aka Mauer), who has had his share of issues this year, and expect it to succeed.

Earlier this summer I called into a local sports radio station and joked that the Twins are more like a farm team to the rest of the MLB than they are a MLB franchise. Hmph. I may be right.

Yes, I'll still watch them. (More likely, I'll still listen as I am more inclined to turn on the radio in the summer) Nevertheless, I just want to have a team that is cohesive. It seems every time we take two steps forward, during the off season we take three steps back. Perhaps I am just a jaded MN fan but I was enjoying this corps of players and am sorry to see some of them go.

Such is the life of a major league sports fan.

Stiff. Achy. Out of shape.

I hit the pavement for the first time in over a year yesterday. I have no idea how far I went as my running watch has since gone kaput so I didn't check it against my usual 10 minute mile pace. Rest assured. I was not running a 10 minute mile anyway.

The first thought through my head, "Man, I miss this.". The next thought, "Damn, my lungs hurt. How the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks did I let myself get this far off course?!".

Nevertheless, I stuck with it as far as I could and did some walking to get back to the house. I knew the first time out was going to be a bear. And today I can feel it. Not nearly as bad as it was when I completed the marathon but... I hope I can keep some sort of pattern going. I've thought about trying to train for a December 5k but don't really like running in the cold (wuss).

Thanks for Giving!

We started the holiday season off by giving Jordan her present early. It's a big one and from all of her parents. She got a snowmobile.......... A little over the top for my standards but that is a post for another day. Yesterday we headed to my parents for the day. Seventeen people and lots of food. My mom handles some of the main dishes and the rest of us bring other dishes to pass. Needless to say we have had a lot of food. Jordan has gone vegetarian so Pete made a nutloaf. It was OK. It called for 2 large white onions and 5 cloves of garlic. Pete dialed back on those but it needed something else. Good try and we'll just tweak it. Mom made the BEST mashed potatoes I have ever had. It's a recipe that includes sour cream and cottage cheese. Just thinking about it makes me drool.

Claire didn't handle the day all that well - it was a bit overwhelming for her. She was distracted while eating, had a hard time napping and just couldn't get a rhythm. I had a hard time having conversations with people. She didn't want to even sit with grandma. Very odd.

We also learned that my step-grandma's cancer has returned. She started chemo earlier this week in Rochester and was very tired. I'm hoping that the chemo does what it needs to. Both of my grandmothers passed away before I was 4 and my dad's dad remarried not too long after. She has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

Today Claire & I stayed inside and just mellowed out. Claire snuggled with me in the afternoon and decided to fall asleep on me for an hour. It's rare for me to have this time with her and instead of worrying about what needed to be done I just appreciated the time I was given to snuggle with my girl.

Seriously. A tree already?

I was floored on Saturday while driving back from a photo shoot in Eden Prairie. Lights had been strung, fences placed and signage painted. The Boy Scout tree lot was open!!!!

You gotta be kidding me, right? Doesn't it seem a wee bit early? We haven't given thanks yet. There is no snow on the ground. It's 40' outside and raining. And riddle me this... just how the heck are you gonna keep that baby from becoming a fire hazard before the big holiday?

I know I don't usually get into the holiday spirit like most people. I blame that on years of working retail. Nothing turns one off like having to deal with throngs of pissed off people the last week before Christmas. Through the years I have tried to keep an open mind. But starting the festivities the day after Halloween is just downright wrong. I have already grown weary of the jewelry commercials, which in reality, last until after Valentine's Day. Their kinda like political ads. Enough already!

We boycott decorating early at our house. This is due in part to my having a December birthday. As a kid my parents were very kind to hold off on lumping my birthday in with Christmas. In fact, we still celebrate it as a stand-alone event (me, me, it's all about me!). So, we hold off putting up the decorations until after my bday. We still get 3-3.5 weeks of holiday fun. By that time I'm ready to have my house put back together anyway.

Pooh. Am I a scrooge or what.

H is for....

This must be why I:

• ended up in HR
• loved horses as a kid
• eat lots of Hershey's chocolate (well, any chocolate really)
• love heat

Monday Monday...

I woke this morning around 4:30am and had that initial start... "What time is it? Is Claire moving? What day is it? Do I get to sleep in?" For about 30 seconds I couldn't remember if it was Sunday or Monday. Turns out it was Monday. The weekends are flying by much to quickly for me, these days.

Saturday Claire and I headed to Carrie's shower hosted by Laurie. It was great to see everyone and see how Carrie is doing. Aurelia and Sarah were there. Claire and Relia's scheduled due dates were about week apart. Relia ended up coming later than expected but she is still close to Claire's scheduled due date so I like to 'measure' Claire's progress to Relia's. Seems like Claire is right on pace. She is still smaller than Relia but I think that with me as her mom that would have been the case even if she had been full term. It was funny to see her next to the two 4 month olds at the shower. Even though Claire was the oldest, she was the smallest.

I was disappointed, but not surprised, not hear that my Gophers had lost yet another football game. It hurts more when it is Iowa and Wisconsin. I'm already looking to next year. And crossing my fingers that Weber can improve over the off season.

I won't even begin to talk about what happened yesterday with the Vikes. I'm floored that we couldn't even get a field goal. Puleeze. Anyone know if a good head coach out there who can find a semi-decent Q-back and a set of receivers? And then my Colts lose. What the...??

Pete took Claire to the doctor today to check on a rash. Turns out it is eczema. I'm really hoping this isn't going to turn out to be associated with a food allergy. I don't want Claire to sit by herself at lunch b/c she can't be near kids who drink milk or eat peanut butter sandwiches. Before I let myself wander down that path I am going to take a couple other steps to see if we can get a handle on it.

• Change her laundry detergent to Dreft
• Put the humidifier in her room
• Cut down on the number of baths she gets (which she really enjoys :( urgh)
• Buy some Lubriderm or Cetaphil

She was prescribed some ointments from the doc today, no steroids yet. Her cousin Nate has it and it turns out my mom does too. Double whammy as these are members from both sides of her family. We'll see.

I learned my friend Julie is on bed rest. Her twins are due in January but she started having contractions last week and spent the week in the hospital. According to her doc, her body thinks she has reached full term and is telling her brain to begin contractions. Yikes. They are hoping to get her to 34 weeks (2 more weeks!) so the boys have a better chance of staying off respirators and other devices if they should end up in the NICU. Please send good vibes their way. She is delivering at Abbott so at least I know she will be well taken care of should she need it.

Corporate Renegade

I am not a good corporate employee. I hate politics and the bullshit associated with it. I hate having to get 7 different opinions on something before I can move forward. It is a collasal waste of my time. I feel like a serf. I want to be an efficient member of this organization but fear that will never be realized since I can't go to the bathroom without getting someone's approval first.

The irony in all this is that one of our cash cow products was developed by accident. Its creation is touted as an example of product innovation in most MBA programs. Is it because I am a staff person, not in the labs, that I am treated like I don't have a brain to use? That I can't be right?

What would happen if I did something on my own? Would I bring down this company? I highly doubt it.

Drying up

WARNING!! This post may contain TMI for some readers.

The girls are getting smaller. I can finally wear some of the button down shirts I am so fond of for work. I still have to wear a sweater over them, lest I pop a button, but I'm getting closer! I grew to a size 38D (normally a 34A/B) so most of my work shirts have been a bust (pun intended). I had to go shopping for shirts so I didn't look like a hooker looking for a John at work. Tonight I am going to try and go for a run (weather dependent) for the first time in a year.

As much as I wanted to get Claire as close to a year on breastmilk as possible, it just wasn't going to happen. We simply ran out of space. Our home freezer above our fridge has been loaded and unloaded as we transferred milk to various family members numerous times in the last four months. About two weeks ago I jotted down where milk stashes were located (MIL, BIL, my mom's...) and the respective dates along with the 'expiration' dates. Milk that is stored in a deep freeze is good for 6-7 months; milk in a regular freezer is only good for 3-4 months.

Erring on the side of caution I realized that the milk at my mom's had to be used in early December. Before we could get that milk back up here and into our freezer we needed to unload the stash we have on hand from the last several weeks. Well, since I have been pumping since Claire's arrival and was kicking out 10-12 ounces every 4 hours it has taken me nearly a month to slow down my production enough to call it done. Weaning off releasing that much milk can be VERY painful. This weekend I pushed it to the extreme, before learning I may have been doing some damage to myself. It got to the point where I couldn't pick Claire up because it hurt too much. I went back to stretching the time in between sessions while continuing to cut down on the time attached to the machine. That seemed to help as yesterday I only pumped once. I'm thinking by this weekend I can have a glass of wine and not have to worry about it being passed onto Claire. My guess is Claire will still be on breastmilk for about 2-3 more months. As we get closer to the end of the stash we will stretch it out by mixing it with formula and mixing it in with solids (can you believe she will start solids soon?!?).

The girls are closer to the size they were while preggers. Part of me wants them to stay this size :) Yet I am itching to get back into my button downs (I'm addicted to them, BTW) and get back to running without pain.

Whew

OK. I gotta admit. My cube ain't nothing like this. I actually have a window. Which is more than I can say for some of the higher ranking personnel in this joint.

New Title

Dear reader,

Please weigh in on your thoughts. Do you like the new name?

Many thanks,
~Struggling Cube Jockey

I am disturbed

So, no football on last night and I ended up watching the History Channel's show on Nostradamus. What a bad idea. I am now dreading December 21, 2012. Apparently that is when the world is going to end (as we know it) according to our man Nostradamus and some other Mayan seers.

Great. Just freaking great. I did the math and realized Claire would be a whopping 5 years old when the world ended (as we know it). Then my mind starting spinning out of control. What will happen to her if she survives some catastrophic event and her parents don't? What is going to happen to the world? How can this be? Why am I just learning about this now?

This damn show should have come with a warning. New parents who will worry about their child's future should not watch this for fear they will never sleep again. Or something of the like.

Name change

OK. I've got to rename this blog. It was created as a place to host photos before my hubby put up our website. When one does a Google search it comes up as the second and third links. Since I have posted some personal thoughts and opinions I would hate for my hubby's clients to associate this with his business.

I've had a couple middle-of-the-night ideas that promptly run out of my head when I wake in the morning (this leads me to believe they might not be the best ideas). During the day I can't seem to come up with anything. It reminds me of college when I woefully attempted to come up with titles for papers. I've always struggled with this issue. The photography slant continues to come to mind but I think it might be overdone... Through my lens? Crap. I suck at this.

So I solicit help from you, dear reader. Any thoughts on a new name for this blog?

Crazy Fluid Man

This is crazy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsOaQGF7kiQ

Save the Trees

Here's a great way to save some trees. I stumbled upon this while avoiding work this morning linking through friends blogs and found it on Faux Martha. (BTW, I am so buying Claire one of those shirts)

I hate getting these catalogs. I rarely read them and would prefer they not come to my home.

I've become more aware of all the waste we have in our home lately. We're pretty good about recycling as much as we can and try to reuse most of the plastic that is brought into our home if it can't be recycled. But we're still just adding more to the landfills... I was thinking as I was cleaning the litter box this morning that we really don't need to use plastic bags for Claire's diaper pail (how's that for linear thinking??). Her pail has an insert we can pull out and just dump the diapers in the trash. Pete was concered about how the insert might begin to smell but I think it's worth it. I'm going to begin doing this tonight.

Does anyone have an ideas for those plastic hangers you get when buying kids clothing? The stores don't seem to want to keep them and even with garage sales next summer I'll never use them all. Would love to hear if anyone has any good thoughts. Maybe figure out a way to make them into a mobile... Hmm...

A higher power?

My day yesterday confirms my belief in a higher power. Coinky-dink? I think not.

I had one of those strange days yesterday where I was suddenly taken back to my high school days. I ran into two friends from high school within a few hours of each other. Now it isn't really an oddity that this happens. I only live about 1.5 hours from where we all graduated and it is natural for many of us to move to the Twin Cities. However, a couple of my good pals from HS have joked that the world revolves around our home town (All things Austin). We get a kick out of running into people while we are in the other Austin (Texas), NYC and other parts of the world. We swear Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon should be changed to Six Degrees of Austin. It seems many people know someone from this small town in southern MN.

So, I was sitting at lunch with the facilitator I hired for yesterdays session when my junior year prom date strolled by. OK. This one isn't so weird as we do see each other from time to time. (One would think we would see each other at work more but we aren't in the same building and 10,000 people land on this six block plot of land each day.) However, I haven't seen him since before I got pregnant so it was 'out of the blue' that we saw each other.

The second came while I was heading to my yoga class. My class is being held at an education center in the NE metro. I was already late for class but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw my pal from HS. I hadn't seen this pal in several years (like nearly 10). He and his wife were there to attend conferences with his son's preschool teacher which were being held across the hall from my yoga class. Now really, how random is it that? I was really good friends with this guy in HS and he was a rock when I went crazy for a little while. I lost track of him when he moved 'up north' to work in radio for a spell. I went to college and moved into the next phase and we just never reconnected when he moved to the TC. And here we are. Standing in a hall catching up for a brief moment, talking about kids. Amazing. Turns out we live only one burb over from each other.

Times like these make me wonder how many times I come near people who have been in my life but don't see them. Throughout my life I have had these experiences.

While living in Spain I befriended a couple of gals from Northwestern who were good friends with two friends of mine from HS in Fremont, NE. I moved back to MN from Fremont before my junior year in HS.

During college I became friends with a guy from SD. His senior year in HS he 'hosted' members from a band who were on tour and playing in his hometown. That band was from MN. The drummer was my boyfriend at the time. (We learned this after about 2 weeks of going to shows and talking about our SOs)

However, nothing beats the six degrees (more like one degree) with regards to my husband. On more than one occassion we know we were in the same room and/or at the same event but never crossed paths. As a mutual friend noted when I told her we were dating, "God waited until you were both in the right frame of mind before having you actually meet". I don't doubt it.

Fine. I'll Just Leave Then.

Do you ever find yourself wanting to act like a snotty teenager? Sometimes I just want to act like said snotty teenager and tell people at work to take this job and shove it where the sun don't shine.

This isn't new. But it has become more prevalent since Claire's arrival. I'd rather be at home watching her grow and develop than sit here and listen to them explain why they see the work I do to be a big pain in the hiney. As if I get off on having to fight them every flipping time we discuss training in this lovely Fortune 100 company.

What did I go to school for? So I could be like Sisyphus pushing the damn bolder all day? WHY do you pay me if you don't really want to listen to what I have to say? I don't come to work just to collect a pay check. I take pride in what I do and feel that the work I do should count for something. That I am an intelligent person who has a valid point of view that should be listened to. If you don't think what I do is valid then I'll stop coming here. See how much you like it when you have to find the answers yourself. Maybe the next time we're in a meeting I should tell you that I think our shareholders feel your job (insert whatever it may be) would be considered a waste of time and resources. I'm not kidding. Someone said that to me. My response - stunned silence. What I wanted to say. Go (insert bad word here) yourself.

Man am I pissy today.

It's not personal. I know that. I typically get along with most people in this company on a personal level. But if I hear one more time that training is a complete waste of their time and can't I get it straight that they don't need it I will be the one to shove it where the sun don't shine for them.

No LRT

I'm still depressed that there is no LRT on this bridge. I guess I 'get' that in order to obtain a certain level of funding and meet the timeline associated with said funding LRT was pushed to the wayside. But really. I hate to sound uncaring to those personally impacted by this tragedy but can't we look at this as an opportunity to move forward with alternative transportation in this so called 'progressive' state? This is an opportunity to rebuild a MAJOR transportation vein with LRT. One of the first things discussed when the collapse occurred was the volume of traffic crossing the bridge. Well. Do we think that is going to get any f'in lighter over the course of the next several years?

I used to bus into work when I lived in St. Paul and worked DT Mpls, crossing that bridge. It continued to be my main route into DT Mpls from the eastern subs (I live on the 'northern' edge). I would very much appreciate the option of using LRT for part of my journey to DT.

Why not take the bus you ask? Because in order for me to get to DT Mpls when I want to head there for fun, it takes well over an hour and the buses don't run all that often off peak commuting hours. Apparently people in the NE Metro only travel to DT Mpls during work hours.

People say it won't be used. People say we're just not that kind of a community. I say bullshit. If you build it - we will ride.

Flexible Dresser

Only in Minnesota, as they say, does the weather change 30 degrees in a 12 hour period. On Sunday I was sweating bullets, resisting the temptation to flip on the air. No... I won't do it. I won't turn the air on in October.

Monday brought relief after some storms rolled through from the south. Tuesday brings wind and cool air. And what's this? A chance of snow? It's a good thing I know how to dress in layers.

Gotta race

It was TC Marathon weekend this past weekend. While normally hearing the sounds of runners (they run right past our church) and seeing the elite runners glide past puts me in the running frame of mind. But the weather stifled any thoughts of putting on my running shoes. Thinking of running 26.2 in that steamy weather made my chest hurt. I heard people were dropping like flies. I've seen this and it isn't pretty. Also, I haven't run since the beginning of November of last year and my lazy bones (read thigh muscles) breathed a sigh of relief when I turned around and went to the car at a nice slow walk.

It did get me thinking about something I realized early last month. This will be the first year I won't have a race shirt - for any distance - since 1997. I started running 5k races in 1997 with my dad as a way to kick the smoking habit. Not long after (2001 or 2002) I ran the half at Grandmas and I trained for my first marathon in 2003 but was unable to run it due to a work commitment. I ran Grandma's the following year and have run the half at Grandmas three (maybe 4?) more times since my first. I have to look at my race shirts to confirm. I've yet to run the TC full marathon but have done the 10 mile twice. I really enjoy the half marathon distance. The training fits better into my hectic schedule, which is sure to be even more hectic as Claire grows.

I have been debating about trying to do the Reindeer Run in December - just so I can have a race shirt for 2007. But trying to run while nursing.... just doesn't work for me. Even with the right sports bra 3.1 miles of that doesn't appeal. I suppose I could register, run a little bit and walk the rest to get the shirt. But is it that important? My SIL looks at Claire and says I have run a different kind of race this year. Perhaps I will just chose to look at this 'gap' in race shirts as my ode to Claire's birth year and move on.

Once we get that jogger next year - Claire and I will be hitting the pavement and wearing out running shoes in no time.