Another year...

of watching Minnesota football. It's tough to be a football fan in this state.

I knew that the Gophers would have a rough go this year (very possible we will end up 0-8 in the Big 10). At least we covered the spread against Ohio State on Saturday. I swear Brewster lit some sort of fire under the defense. Either OSU was having a REALLY bad night or our defense finally learned how to tackle. The previous week it was like watching swiss cheese on the field.

I had hopes that the Vikes would win a couple more games. After the last three games I have serious doubts we will have any more victories this year. I hate to be a negative nelly but seriously. What the...?

I'll grant that we have some issues - starting at the QB position. Sorry to say, I have never been a big T-Jack fan. I don't see him as a leader for this team. His injury the last couple of weeks wasn't a worry for me. We weren't getting anywhere with him anyway. We just don't have the talent on offense we need to make it in the NFL. Our receiving core isn't very strong and I worry that we will rely too heavily on Peterson and wear him down. We do need him for more than one season!

Urgh. I wanted to give Chilly another year to prove that he could turn the team around but I don't know if he has it in him to be a head coach. Not that I could do that job but he is being paid a large sum of money to field a team of players who will keep people in their seats. A few more games like this and we'll be calling Red McCombs in San Antonio asking if he is still interested in buying the team.

Holy Mother

Can you imagine carrying this? Yikes

Rejected

I cannot be a milk donor because of my transfusion.

Oh well. Best intentions I guess. We have some room in the freezer now after our last milk run. I'm going to have to send some home with my mother tomorrow, however. Otherwise Pete is going to be upset when we once again run out of room and he can't fit in his favorite dish: frozen pizzas.

Visual Brain Candy

I am officially addicted. Perhaps because it reminds me of the X-Men comic book series. The new season of Heroes began last night and I gleefully watched (while trying to sort through 500+ photos from an event I did with three other photographers) last night. I became addicted last season but lost track of what was happening after the long 'fall' break. During the initial days of Claire's stay in the NICU I picked back up on my habit. NBC so kindly posted episodes for viewing during the summer break. Is Sylar really dead? What is going to happen to Peter?

I haven't gotten into the graphic novel (avx online) which surprises me (I got hooked on old school X-Men graphics when I was working at the bookstore and would stock the racks). Perhaps it is the shameless commercialization that takes place in the novel (see Nissan Rouge - hmmmmmm is that related to Rouge from the X-Men?). Tacky. The online versions run a deluge for the sponsor during the online episodes. Oh well. I guess that is how we can get all this stuff free online so I'll have to deal with the constant barrage of commercials during online viewing.

I really appreciate knowing the most recent episode is available online. This way if Claire and I are doing something else I can catch up later in the week or on lunch. Very nice!

Back to the grind

I am back at work today. So far I have made it three hours and only called home once. My milk production is slowing... apparently due to being stressed about being back at work. That sucks.

I can't concentrate on anything. I feel completely out of whack. Claire has a cold and I want to be at home. And everything at work is a cluster. Plus, I don't want to deal with the politics.

Hoping tomorrow is better.

Earlier this week I had another mom reality moment (#3?). While holding Claire in her preferred position (facing out with my arm hooked around the front of her belly, hand between legs) she pooped. No biggie, right. WRONG. Apparently the salsa dad made which we had on quesadillas the previous night did not sit well with the babe. She proceeded to poop all over. Me. The floor. Her shorts. Her onesie. And I don't think it felt too good coming out. Poor baby. Needless to say, I will not be eating dad's salsa again.

Milk run

I am heading to my in-laws today in Amery to drop off a stash of milk. Our freezer is full once again and we have already maxed out our deep freeze. My in-laws aren't using all of their space in their deep freeze so they are kindly letting us store some milk.

I did complete an application online for a local hospital to see if I can be a donor. We should hear from them in about a week. If I am a candidate, I will go through all the blood tests to ensure I am not carrying anything that can be passed through breast milk and that I am disease free.

Even with taking milk to Amery and my plan to have my mom take milk back to her house on a weekly basis we will still run out of room again. I maxed out the freezer on the fridge in just over a month. I think that by being a donor I will have another incentive to keep going. I am tiring of pumping. Even though it isn't a great deal of time during the day it is not convenient. Well, convenient from a timing standpoint. I am often feeding Claire and then pumping. Or she wakes up while I am pumping and Pete has to step off whatever he was doing to come and take Claire while I finish. Those are the times when 10 minutes feels like hours. I am lucky he is at home.

Home body

I'm feeling very home-body-ish the last few days. Not sure if it is the change in weather or the fact that I have 8 days until I go back to work. Claire and I were supposed to meet up with a friend for a walk around Lake Harriet this morning but I just bailed. My excuse - I don't want to take Claire out in 50 degree weather. Who is the baby here? Claire or me?

I am trying to get myself on a schedule for next week. I feel like a kid in her last week of summer vacation. Instead of going back to sleep when I got up to pump this morning I stayed awake, took a shower before Claire woke up, fed her, did the dishes, emptied the dishwasher and put the butterbraid into the oven. It's 9:30am and I am pretty tired.

Sobering Drive

I had to run back to NE Mpls this afternoon as I accidentally left my USB cable in the gear I rented from West Photo last week. Earlier this week I took the route past the construction for the Gopher stadium. I know this sounds trite but it is strange to see the campus change so much - makes me kinda sad. I am however, very excited that football will be back on campus soon (despite the iffy-ness of our seasons). This time I chose to go via the 10th Avenue bridge. I think part of me really wanted to see the 35W bridge area. I think it's a bit morbid myself but I also have been feeling a need to actually see the bridge - it makes it more real. Having lived three blocks from the University exit and crossing that bridge countless times I know I could very well have been on the bridge that day, perhaps with my family in the car. I didn't even have to get out of my car to see the twisted steel. I was surprised at how quickly the lump in my throat formed and tears sprung to my eyes. The 'what ifs' started forming in my head about what I would have done if Claire had been in the car with me. The whole area kicks off a very sad vibe.

I said to Pete when I got home that I don't need to go near there again. Once was enough. And for once in my life I don't want to take pictures. Too real? Too close to home?

Expensive hobby

I shot my first wedding on Saturday since becoming a mom. I had a bit of a challenge finding clothing that would fit for the shoot. I typically wear black and most of my black pants no longer fit. Finally, I found a pair of pants from ages ago when elastic waist bands were en vogue. Thank goodness. Needless to say, I am now on the hunt for a comfy black skirt to add to my stash. It wasn't blazing hot but hot enough when lugging around my gear.

I am glad it was a short shoot. The couple did a small wedding at a local restaurant so we shot outdoors at the park across the street and proceeded back to the restaurant for the ceremony on the deck. I was able to get back home just over my four hour window. This is typically how long I can be away from my new friend the pump. Needless to say, had we gone longer I would have needed to book an assistant so I could take the time out.

Even with a small group it was more portraits than I dig, but oh well. I need to pick up as many gigs as possible to build my portfolio. I went through the first pass of the photos last night and am happy for the most part. It was a gorgeous day outside - not a cloud in the sky. Damn it. While the rest of the folks were enjoying the lovely weather I was praying for a couple of clouds. Just one or two that would politely sit overhead blocking the sun while I shot the groups. No luck. It will take me a bit longer to work on those photos to see if I can take out some hotspots and bring up some of the darker areas. One thing I am learning - I do not charge enough for weddings. It's not the shoot that takes the time, but the editing. However, until I get good enough, I feel bad charging a lot of money. Urgh.

The bride requested that I use a professional level camera. My camera is only a 6.4 megapixel. Now, from what I understand, unless she was going to blow up a picture to anything above 20x30 we would be just fine using my camera. But, the customer is always right, right? So I chose to look at this as an opportunity to test run the D2X from Nikon (from local outfit WestPhoto). I currently shoot Nikon so am familiar with the Nikon body I thought it would be better to go that route than try to adjust to the Canon body for a wedding.

I know I want to upgrade someday but don't know if I want to switch over to Canon. The dilemma for me is all my gear works with Nikon - external flash, lenses (which need upgrading too). To buy a new body, either Canon or Nikon, it will cost me between $3,000 - 4,000. If I go the Canon route I need to tack on another $400 for the lens I want and another $300 for the external flash. At my current wedding rate I would need to do 12 weddings to pay for the equipment. Yikes. I better stick to my day job, eh?